Rolling with the punches

March 18, 2015

I have always loved be in control.  I might even consider myself a bit of a control freak.  Well, I am gonna have to let that go!  When you are diagnosed with cancer things seem to change with every passing hour and for me that is frustrating.  God, grant me patience!  I am no longer in control and need to learn to be at peace with the process.

I had a lot anxiety going into today and I loved all the texts and messages this morning with such words of encouragement.  This post may be somewhat graphic but I need to account for all of my experiences so when I write my New York Times best selling book I have documentation (lol!) 

I would start the day out giving myself an Enema.  Not as bad as I thought!  Not great, but I lived.  This would be in preparation for a Rigid Sigmoidoscopy to determine exactly where the tumor is.  Kyle and my parents went with me today so they could meet Dr. McCahill.  We sat down in the waiting room and fire drill! Ha!  Just  thankful I was not having my procedure yet! 

I have 3 tumors on my liver, one in the left lobe and one in the right.  The other is in a really difficult spot to get to so when they do do my liver resection he is going to take about 1/3 of my liver (did you know your liver is the size of your head?) They can take up to a half so he has plenty of room to work with. 

Into the Rigid Sigmoidoscopy...ok...so this involves a stainless steel tube that they put up your rear and they continually blow air into it.  This allows them to see where the tumor is at.  Before he started he said it wouldn't be nearly as bad as I was probably thinking.  Umm...yea, it was as bad as I was thinking.  Almost lost my cookies a few times. The hope is that the tumor would be completely out of my rectum.  Well,  it measured at 12cm so he called in Northern rectum, Southern colon.  This is in a grey area between having radiation (rectum) and chemo (colon).  Prayers were answered...it is high enough I will not need a colostomy!  Dr. McCahill immediately called my oncologist and they both think they are going to fight for chemo at the Tumor Board with U of M tomorrow.  Apparently the long term effects of radiation for someone my age are not ideal. 

So surgery is off for Friday either way.  Dr. Dublis wants me to start either chemo or radiation within a week.  Stay tuned on what cancer killing method they are going to use on me.

I have been so loved this last week, it has felt amazing!  Kyle and I are trying to keep things as normal as possible for the girls.  I even played in my women's volleyball league on Monday night.   Such a great workout! 

Michelle Elzinga (one of my besties who lives a few houses down) comes down every night at 8:00 to pray with me.  I love it!

I have been part of a book club for many years, we call ourselves the Chick-lits!  They, along with my family will be running the Irish Jig this weekend which benefits Colon and Rectal Cancer.  Look for my Army in the t-shirts below:

My life is blessed! and God IS good!

Angie