March 13 2015 - Well this week has completely sucked!

Well this week has completely sucked! 

I remember saying my prayers last Sunday night and asking for strength to get through such a busy week.  I had to take my state life insurance exam on Monday, Kyle was going to be out of the country this week on Peter Island for work so I would have to be mom and dad until he got home, Logan would turn 9 and school treats would need to be made, I would have my first Colonoscopy because of my pesky upset stomach my primary care physician just couldn't  figure out.  "Lord just give me strength to get through" I asked. 

Monday - Up early so I could get a little bit of studying in before I took my Life Insurance exam.  Off to the testing site and YES!  I PASSED!  Relief.  Then to work so I could wrap up some things before I would have to leave at 4:00 so I could start the 'prep' for my Colonoscopy on Tuesday.  If you have ever had one, you know it is horrible.  If you haven't and people tell you the prep is no big deal, they are LIARS!

Tuesday - Logan's 9th Birthday!!!  Dropped treats at school at 8:30 then back to meet my sister in law Tracy so she could take me to get my Colonoscopy.  I joked with the Doctor that it was probably my Grandma Symon's Ulcerative Colitis.  He thought maybe an Upper GI bleed...I would finally know soon. 

I awoke to my worst nightmare!  Pictures put in front of me of a colon (apparently mine) that sure didn't look normal.  Then I heard the words come out of Dr. Hamby's mouth...it was a large cancerous tumor almost completely blocking my colon.  What did he say???  I felt a rush of heat run through my body.  He did not just say that???  I am 41 year old mother of 2 little girls and a busy life that I absolutely love.  Wait?  Did he just say Cancer?

Tracy and I would drive to the local watering hole and consume 2 glasses of wine and try and make sense of what just happened.  Are you sure he said cancer?

Call to my parents in Florida (I made Tracy do it) and a text to Kyle (he doesn't get cell service on the island) and start figuring this whole thing out.  Work....oh shoot...I have a job! Need to figure that out.  My boss, Sophia..AMAZING!  They quickly took over my email and voicemail and were able to quickly divide and conquer. I decided I could not tell the girls right away because I really don't need Logan telling me I ruined her birthday...and she would!

Wednesday - The phone started ringing early.  Doctors, Hospital, Lab....be here, do this, don't do that. It became overwhelming very quickly.  I would meet with the Oncologist this morning and my dear friend Marcia would go with to take notes.  2 1/2 hour meeting and I walked out with my head spinning.  Drink this white chalk and be back at 3:30 to drink more and have a CT scan.  That was fairly easy...although you feel like you are peeing your pants.  Weird.

Off to tell the girls.  I thought it best that I tell them at Kyle's sisters house so I had some support.  Went better than expected.  Logan's concern was I would lose my hair.  Reese just sat and tried to think of all the positives...I wouldn't have go to work for a while (she is so my kid). 

Thursday - I am not sure how I feel about technology today.  I have an app through Metro Health Hospital called MyChart.  It alerts me when test results are ready.  I hadn't heard from the oncologist yet so I thought I would open.  It stuck out like a sore thumb....multiple spots on liver.  Definite sign of metastasis to the liver.  What?  now I am at WTF!!!  Well, apparently we are moving to Plan B.  I can't remember what that is but I am sure Marcia wrote it down. 

Mom and dad are finally home!  Nothing like a hug from your mom.  Made me feel like I was a little girl again. 

Friday (the 13th...now God is messing with me) - PET scan today ... Marcia referred to it as a CT scan on steroids.  Hoping that the cancer is just hanging out in my colon and liver. 

I feel good today.  Positive attitude will get me through (and Netflix). 

The troops are rallied!  My many friends and family, Conifer Ridge family and my BCBSM family!  I have a long road ahead but with all of you I can do this! If you have emailed or texted and I have not gotten back to you I did get your message but am just overwhelmed.  I appreciate all of the love, support and prayers!

I will continue this blog because I actually find it very cathartic. 

Wait...did he just say cancer?!