Why me?

I was born a ‘glass half full’ type of girl.  I am not one to let things get too under my skin and have an uncanny ability to find the positive in almost anything.  I have wondered if that would change ever since I received my diagnosis. I have had some pretty painful, dark days the last month.  Heck, I was afraid to have blood drawn prior to this.  Blood draws now, a piece of cake!   

I feel like I was given a choice in this matter.  I can endure the pain of this horrible disease and watch the beautiful blessings come from it OR I can rollover and let it win.  Based on my track record in life, I am choosing to endure!  You can’t even imagine the outpouring of love and support I have witnessed in the last month.  Cards received have to be well over 100, gifts in the mail (not sure who is sending the ongoing charm bracelet….thank you!), meals galore, a neighborhood sprinkled with blue ribbons on mailboxes in support, 20,000+ blog readers now reaching Canada and Europe, and an Army of family and friends that I feel closer to now more than ever.    

I see my kids and husband differently now.  Their smiles are brighter; the sound of laughing in our house brings such joy.  I used to be annoyed by the daily grind of homework with the girls; I am honored now to watch them learn daily.  Kyle has shown such a sense of confidence and just seems to know when I just need a good hug that lasts for minutes.   

As many of you know I have twin brothers, Tony and Todd who will be 45 in June.  Every doctor I met with early on said they need to get in for colonoscopies ASAP because it looks like my form of Colon Cancer is quite hereditary.  Todd is on spring break in Florida but has already contacted his Doctor for a referral the minute he gets home…right Todd?  Tony on the other hand had his last week Tuesday.  It was one of my worst days with nausea and vomiting but I just couldn’t wait for that call from him to say he was ‘all clear.’  Dr. Hamby found 3 polyps, all removed successfully.  1 unfortunately was pre-cancerous and quite large.  He will now need a colonoscopy every 3 years going forward, sorry Tony!  But, I would consider this as me saving your life so you can feel free to repay me in any form that you wish.  By the way, my birthday is October 16^th, just in case you forgot.   

Why me?  Why not me?  It has been an amazing ride so far and I am willing to endure so that I can continue to allow those closest an opportunity to bless our family.  I often imagine Jesus suffering on the cross and what He must have endured in those last days in order to bring me eternal salvation.  I am not comparing my suffering to Jesus by any means, but I do know I am willing to suffer so others can realize their many blessings and hopefully one day have eternal life with me…heck, who doesn’t want to hang with me in the afterlife!  

I can honestly say that my glass is still very much ‘half full’ and I am committed to keeping it that way!

God IS good!

Philippians 4:13 … open your Bible and look it up : )