Dear Cancer,

Dear Cancer, 

I share both a deep hate for you and yet a respect for your immense power over every aspect of my life.  This past week I went from a battle with you to an all out war!  You robbed my body of pain relief for nearly 6 straight days. While I cannot forgive you for that, I do now know that you have a mind of your own and I must do everything in my power to be faithful to Him during this process.  This is what gets me through! 

Last Wednesday and Thursday I was struggling with severe abdominal pain and both days went to the ER to have an enema only to come home with minor relief.  On Friday I thought I could just tough it out because I figured this was just a side effect of the chemo and I would get through.  Around 1:00 my friend Marcia came by to drop off a meal and found me in pretty bad shape.  I can only describe my pain as similar to labor contractions at their worst.  They had no consistency; some would last 30 seconds while others would last 10 minutes.  Saturday morning I was too weak to eat or drink so I was taken to the ER where I was admitted to the hospital quite quickly.   

A scope revealed that while my tumor in my colon has been shrinking (somewhat) my colon tightened with it causing nearly a complete blockage.  A CT scan revealed I had stool backed up all the way to my small intestine.  The pain I was feeling was all because there was nowhere for my body to extract stool and air.   

Fortunately I have an AMAZING team of doctors who are all on the same page.  I was so impressed that everyone from the nurse, the surgeon the oncologist and the hospitalist all knew exactly what was happening with my case and had been communicating on a very regular basis.  Because one of my targeted therapy chemo drugs is a blood thinner they could not do an emergency colon resection for fear I would bleed out.  So they were able to put in temporary stent in my rectum, do you remember what Chinese handcuffs were when we were kids?  That is what was inserted but it is made of chicken wire….really?  That’s the best we could come up with?  I guess I don’t care because I now have a clear runway for things to move again.  This is a very temporary fix until the chemo drug has filtered through my body and I can be cleared for surgery.   

The surgeon’s office called yesterday to confirm that my colon resection is scheduled for June 2^nd.  Barring anymore hiccups I am looking forward to finally having this portion of my cancer removed.   

On the bright side I was surrounded by so much love while in the hospital.  My mom nearly never left my side.  Kyle and the girls were there as much as possible while still trying to manage their hectic schedules.  (Please pray for Kyle, he is starting to get tired but doing his best to not let me see it)  The best mother’s day gift to date was my two girls rubbing my feet with lotion they had snuck into the hospital.  What a blessing they are! 

So Cancer, I am still very mad and sad that you have taken over my life but I am going to win this war.  You picked the wrong girl to mess with!  You see, I have a support system like no other that continues to ‘show up’ in my greatest time of need.  We will not be defeated! 

God is Good!  

 Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

 Mothers Day 2015!